


SMALL

by jhsdhalr



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 00:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhsdhalr/pseuds/jhsdhalr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John wake up one morning to find the world has undergone a startling change. This is crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "It seems to have happened to everyone" said Mrs Hudson cheerfully.

**Author's Note:**

> Not rated but mostly suitable for everyone.

"We've got a parcel" said John to Sherlock one wet Monday morning "it's addressed to both of us."

Sherlock was in the kitchen stirring some unidentifiable mass of green goo which was in a bowl on the kitchen table. "It's probably a bomb" he said.

"It's not a bomb" John announced as he opened the box "it's--" he delved into the mass of protective wrappings in the box and drew out a small statue "it's a statue."

Sherlock abandoned his goo and went into the living room where John was examining the small statue. It was of a naked male with an unusually large penis. "Very interesting" Sherlock sighed "someone has a weird sense of humor."

"I think it's fascinating" John said, examining the figure from all angles "just think, if he was human sized his cock would be 2 foot long."

"Inconvenient" said Sherlock.

John started to rub the figure. "It feels like marble" he announced "it might be worth something."

"Let me feel it" said Sherlock "yes, it is marble. It's probably from Mycroft. He'll arrive any moment now and want it back."

"Why should he send it to us then?" asked John "there's nothing in the box to say who it's from and it's postmarked Portsmouth."

"Mycroft is a mystery to us all" Sherlock announced "put it down somewhere and stop fondling it."

"It feels so nice" said John, shutting his eyes as he continued to rub the figure. 

Sherlock snatched it from him and put it on one of the bookshelves. "Leave it alone" he snapped.

"Alright, calm down" John muttered "I'm going to work now, and when I get home I want that revolting green gunge out of the kitchen. It's unhygienic."

"I've almost finished with it" Sherlock said haughtily "calm down."

"See you later" John said as he left "and don't fondle the statue while I'm gone."

Sherlock didn't reply. He just went back to his goo.

The rest of day passed without incident. John saw a succession of Patients with colds and coughs and Sherlock spent the day alternately stirring gunge and lying on the sofa being bored. They had a Chinese take away for Dinner and sat watching TV together, Sherlock complaining constantly about how idiotic and illogical everything on TV was. Finally they retired to their separate rooms. John slept peacefully all night. Sherlock read a book on Criminology and marked corrections in the margins and finally fell asleep through shear irritation.

Sherlock awoke the next morning to find his room had magically grown twice as big in the night. He sat up in bed and realized it was not the room that had changed but himself. He struggled out of the bed and fought his way out of his pajamas with difficulty. An immediate problem arose in that he couldn't reach the door knob to get out of his room. He was just about to drag a chair over to the door when it opened to reveal a small and anxious looking boy wearing an enormous jumper. 

"Oh fuck" said the boy "you're small too."

"John?" Sherlock said, in a high pitched squeak which was obviously his new voice.

"Yes" said the boy "I woke up like this. Nothing fits me. I'm naked under this jumper." To Sherlock, who was starting to panic, John sounded amazingly calm.

"Nothing's going to fit me, is it?" Sherlock shouted "I couldn't even reach the door knob to get out."

"I expect it'll wear off" said John "I'm going to get some breakfast. Do you want some toast?"

"I'm naked" Sherlock screamed, going straight into panic mode "I'm little and I'm naked and cold. You're bigger than me, it's not fair."

"I'll go downstairs and ask Mrs Hudson to go and buy us some clothes" said John "I'll get you one of my jumpers for now."

"She'll wonder who you are" shouted Sherlock.

"I'll tell her we woke up small" John said, smiling "she'll understand." He went off and got Sherlock an enormous black and white striped jumper. 

Sherlock manged to get into the jumper. He looked down at himself with horror. "How will I do the work like this" he said aloud to the empty room "and John's not even bothered. Perhaps I'm dreaming, yes, that'll be it, I'm dreaming, I'll go to the bathroom and then go back to bed."

He went back to bed and slept for about ten minutes before he awoke again. He was still small. "Oh bugger" he moaned "bugger bugger. I'm a child again and I didn't like it the first time around. Bugger." He went to the Kitchen and found the green gunge he had been working on the day before. "I wonder if it was this" he said to himself "no it couldn't be because John's small too. It must have been that statue." He went into the living room and looked at the shelf where he had placed the figure. It wasn't there. It had disappeared. He searched for it but it had mysteriously gone. 

Downstairs John knocked politely on Mrs Hudson's door and it was opened by a person who appeared to be a younger version of Mrs Hudson. She beamed a wide smile at John and said "I woke up this morning and found I was 30 years younger. Isn't that marvelous? Are you lost dear? You look very strange in that jumper? I'm sure I've seen one of my young men wearing one like that, a Dr John Watson--he's--"

"I am John" John interrupted "I'm John and Sherlock is a toddler."

Mrs Hudson sighed and went into her apartment followed by John. They both looked out of the window to see a fantastic scene. The street was full of children and young men and women. There was a lot of screaming and arguing and hardly any traffic, which was really unusual. 

"It seems to have happened to everyone" said Mrs Hudson cheerfully "I wonder if the Prime Minister is a child now? Parliament will be interesting."

"Oh God" said John "how are we going to fix this?"


	2. "My people are working on the problem even now" said Mycroft "it's just a matter of time."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mrs Hudson goes shopping, Mycroft eats a cream bun and John becomes worried.

Mrs Hudson went shopping. It was an interesting experience. She got a Taxi to Oxford Street which was being driven by what appeared to be a 15 year old Schoolboy. 

"Yesterday I was 45" the Taxi driver told her cheerfully "and my wife was 43. Now we're both teenagers. I thought I'd still work though. My kids stayed the same. It happened to my neighbors too."

"I was 72 yesterday" Mrs Hudson told him.

They chatted some more and soon Mrs Hudson arrived at her destination and went into M & S to buy Sherlock and John some small clothing and footwear. Armed with John's credit card and pin number {written on a piece of paper as if it were a sum of money} she went to the kids department. Much to her relief, although the street outside was filled with people mostly under the age of 20, inside the shop it was comparatively peaceful.

Mrs Hudson discovered by talking to a number of shoppers and staff, that seemingly only people over the age of 30 had regressed. This meant that a great many shops and factories and offices were still running, at least partly. Most of the people of ages 30 to about 45 had evidently stayed at home due to general shock and lack of clothing but everyone else had either gone off to work as usual or were thronging the streets complaining and panicking.

Mrs Hudson bought a full set of clothing, plus a change just in case, for both Sherlock and John in the sizes John had specified. Then she bought herself a new dress and some shoes using John's credit card. After that she went and had lunch. She had a very enjoyable morning which was enlivened by a fight between two small boys, the larger of whom won the fight and promptly arrested the smaller. Quite a crowd had gathered to watch the battle. The bigger boy shouted out at one point "I'm a Policeman" which elicited some cheers from his audience. 

Mrs Hudson got a Taxi home and found that John and Sherlock had a visitor. He looked vaguely familiar and, as she put down her numerous bags, she realized that he was Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard, now transformed into a 16 year old teenager. He was in a foul mood too.

"Scotland Yard is in a terrible state" he was saying as Mrs Hudson entered John and Sherlock's living room "only half the force turned up for work and some of them look younger than I do."

"I bought everything I could think of" Mrs Hudson told John, who was sitting in his usual chair "and here's your card and pin. I'm going to change and go to see Mrs Turner. I hope you boys will behave yourselves while I'm gone."

"I always behave myself" snapped Sherlock angrily from his position sprawled on the sofa "and in this state I can hardly do anything else, can I?"

Mrs Hudson sighed and left the room. John delved into the bags and pulled out a small navy jumper with a crew neck. "Great" he exclaimed "a jumper." He fished out everything from the bags and dived into the pile. 

"You don't seem very worried about any of this" Lestrade remarked, as John examined his new wardrobe with every appearance of pleasure.

"My life has been so strange and wonderful since I moved in here I can't be bothered to worry" John explained "I expect I'll wake up soon anyway."

"It's not a dream" Sherlock shouted "it's reality."

"Well---whatever" John muttered "I'm going to go and try on some of these. You should do the same Sherlock. You look terrible in that jumper."

"I'm wearing my son's clothing" said Lestrade to Sherlock "he's 17 now and he's older than I am. My daughter is older than my wife. I had to go around there wearing my old things which don't fit anymore and beg to borrow his things. I vowed I'd never go around there after Maureen and I separated. It was dreadful."

"What have you got to worry about?" Sherlock moaned "you're almost an adult. I'm 3 years old. How can I do the work like this?"

"You're better off than Anderson and Donovan" said Lestrade "when they woke up this morning Anderson was about 8 and Sally was a baby. They're having a terrible time. Anderson phoned me and I could hear Donovan screaming in the background. She can't even talk anymore."

Sherlock started to laugh. After a moment Lestrade joined in. "It isn't funny" he said, wiping his wet eyes, "it isn't a bit funny really."

"Yes it is" said Sherlock. He looked at the clothes John had left strewn about the floor. "I suppose I'd better try some of these on" he muttered, plucking a tiny Polo shirt covered in wide red stripes from the pile. "These are hideous" he continued "don't they make any decent garments for small children any more?"

"I'm sure you'll look cute" remarked Lestrade "you already look sweet in that huge jumper." 

Sherlock pulled off the jumper without much difficulty and stood naked in front of Lestrade. "Look at me" he shouted "how will I work like this?"

"If things don't go back to normal you'll probably get older anyway" Lestrade said "but I suppose you and John will have to be fostered. That'll be interesting." He laughed.

Sherlock groaned and struggled into a hooded cardigan with over large buttons. It was a very bright blue and he hated it on sight, but it was warm and fitted and best of all didn't have any stripes. His underwear proved to have either waves on or small boats. There was no other choice so he chose a boat. There were no trousers, only two pairs of shorts so he put on the denim ones which came to just below his knees. He was sitting on the floor trying to put on a pair of miniature trainers when John came back into the room. 

"Ta da" John exclaimed, turning around and around so he could be viewed from all angles. Sherlock was immediately irritated because not only did John have the decent looking navy jumper, but he had a very adult looking pair of jeans as well.

"We have to solve this problem" Sherlock said, getting up off the floor "this can't go on."

"I'm not worried "said John "we'll probably wake up in a moment."

"IT'S NOT A DREAM" Sherlock screamed. He threw himself back onto the floor and lay there screaming and kicking. "IT'S NOT A DREAM" he kept shouting over and over again.

"I think it'll be up to you and I to deal with this" said Lestrade, winking at John "Sherlock's having a temper tantrum. I bet he was a seriously maddening child the first time around."

"I'm not having a tantrum" shouted Sherlock from the floor "I'm just frustrated."

At that inopportune moment the door opened and a plump boy came into the room. He bore a striking and alarming resemblance to Mycroft Holmes. He was even eating a cream bun. "I see you're all having fun" he remarked, sitting down on the sofa and dropping crumbs in all directions "I certainly am."

"I hate you" said Sherlock. He was still lying on the floor but had calmed down.

"Did anything odd happen?" Mycroft asked, wiping his sticky fingers down his very neat little brown suit "before you changed I mean."

"I had a small marble figure delivered to me the day before" said Lestrade "it was a man with a huge penis. I put it back in the box it came in and this morning the box was empty."

"I had one of those too" said Lestrade "and mine disappeared as well."

"So did ours" said John "I wonder if Mrs Hudson got one?"

"Rubbish" shouted Sherlock, getting up off the floor and glaring at his brother with what he fondly and erroneously thought was a menacing look, "how could this be caused by little statues? Besides, there'd have to be thousands of them delivered, millions even."

"I've already determined that a great many have in fact been received by the general population" said Mycroft solemnly "and they seem to have been all identical too."

"Aliens" said John "I bet it was aliens."

"Now you're just being idiotic" Sherlock complained.

"I told you it's a dream" John informed the room "I'm dreaming this."

Sherlock promptly had another tantrum at this. His elders looked at him with dismay. "He had a terrific temper as a child" Mycroft remarked after a moment.

"He seems to be regressing to childhood then" Lestrade said.

"It's the shock" John told them "he'll get over it. He'll get used to being little."

"When?" Lestrade asked "I was hoping he'd be able to shed some light on our predicament."

"My people are working on the problem even now" said Mycroft "it's just a matter of time. Anyway, I have to love you and leave you. I have a new driver, you know. He was 60 before this happened."

"I have to go too" said Lestrade "call me if Sherlock starts to make any sense."

Sherlock was particularly incensed by this criticism. As Mycroft and Lestrade left the room he threw books and papers at them, swearing loudly.

"You're being stupid now" said John, going into the kitchen to look for something to eat.

Sherlock followed John into the kitchen. "It's hard to think when you're this size" he sighed "everything's so huge and out of reach."

"Throwing things wont help though will it?" John asked.

"I don't know" said Sherlock, suddenly grinning "I have an urge to throw things at Mycroft whenever I see him. He was wearing a suit too. He looked ridiculous."

"I can't imagine Mycroft without a suit" said John.

"Neither can I" said Sherlock, and they both laughed.

Sometime later they sat down at the kitchen table to eat baked beans on toast, which John had prepared with some difficulty, burning both the toast and the beans and having to start all over again no less than twice. Sherlock had to climb on a stool and wave a towel at the smoke alarm which looked terribly dangerous to John but didn't seem to bother Sherlock at all.

As they sat eating, Sherlock struggling with his knife and fork and making a bit of a mess, both of them draped in towels at John's insistence to avoid spoiling their new clothing, John was surprised to see Sherlock suddenly start to wave a piece of toast in the air making "vroom vroom" noises.

"What are you doing, Sherlock?" John asked.

Sherlock gazed at his hand with a look of amazement. "Nothing" he said "it's just----I'm a bit bored."

"Oh, yes" John replied "bored."

"I'm pretending the toast is a car" said Sherlock, after a moment.

"Of course" said John, trying not to look worried "makes perfect sense, a car."

"I like to play with my food" said Sherlock.

"Yes" John sighed "doesn't everyone?"

They continued to eat, Sherlock piling his beans in a heap and then eating them with his fingers. John was increasingly worried. If Sherlock regressed to a 3 year old in mind as well as size, what on earth would they do and would he start to act like an 8 year old? He was worried, terribly worried and the future started to look very bleak indeed.


	3. I've had my youth. It was OK but I don't want it again, thank you very much.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sherlock and Molly play chase and everyone else gets very frustrated.

The following morning John found Sherlock, dressed in a diminutive pair of pajamas with a railway engine on the chest, sitting on the living room floor drawing something on a large sheet of paper. 

"What are you drawing?" John asked, sitting down beside Sherlock on the floor.

"It's a dinosaur" said Sherlock "a Tyrannosaurus Rex".

"Fantastic" said John "have you washed? You smell a bit."

"I don't smell" shouted Sherlock crossly "besides, you smell more."

"No I don't" shouted John "I've had a shower and I'm dressed ready for work." It was true, he was.

"You can't work" said Sherlock, starting to laugh "you're a child and we have to work on getting everyone back to normal."

"And of course, drawing dinosaurs is going to be so useful for that" said John with a sigh.

"I was bored" said Sherlock. He gazed at his drawing. "I'm going to draw Mycroft in his mouth" he added after a moment.

"It must be something to do with the little figures everyone received" said John, watching Sherlock drawing with a growing feeling of dismay "they ought to be analyzed or something, so the first thing we have to do is find one. We can search here first and then go and search Mrs Hudson's flat if we can't find ours. Then we can try Lestrade and the others and Molly and------"

"When I've finished this" said Sherlock.

"You need to wash first" John commented "then we'll have breakfast. I'll ring the Surgery and find out what's happening there this morning. Go and wash."

"I want to have a bath not a shower" said Sherlock.

"I'll go and fill the bath for you" said John "and be careful you don't drown."

"I'M NOT A BABY" Sherlock screamed at him.

"Alright" John replied calmly "don't scream though. It's giving me a headache."

He got up and went off to the bathroom, Sherlock shouting after him "I don't scream".

Some time later they searched for the little figure, made a great deal of mess and muddle, got covered in dust and very cross and didn't find it. Sherlock did find, however, a number of things he said he had mislaid because of John tidying up. These included several bones and a bag of rotting flesh of unknown origin.

After that they went downstairs and, together with Mrs Hudson, searched her flat for the figure and didn't find it. They then got a Taxi, with some difficulty until they found a driver who looked to be about 12, to Molly Hooper's flat. The door was opened by Lestrade, to their surprise. Also there was Anderson, who was evidently fat as a child, plus a young baby, who turned out to be Donovan and a 2 year old toddler, who answered to the name of Molly.

"I came over here yesterday to see if Molly was alright" Lestrade explained "I had to collect Anderson and Donovan on the way. Donovan needed feeding and changing so we went shopping. We all spent the night here. There's only one bed. It was a nightmare."

"We're searching for the statues" said John "if we find one we might be able to tell if they caused the change."

"Good idea" said Lestrade "what does Sherlock think about this? Has he any ideas?" 

"No" said John "he hasn't any ideas at all."

"Oh dear" said Lestrade "I've got used to him providing answers when I'm stuck. I shouldn't have started to rely on him so much. My mistake really."

While they were talking Anderson was waving a toy rabbit at Donovan and Molly and Sherlock were standing staring at each other. 

"I can draw a Tyrannosaurus Rex" said Sherlock after a moment.

"I can draw a cat" said Molly.

"A Tyrannosaurus Rex is bigger" said Sherlock.

"A cat is nicer" Molly pointed out.

"Shut up and help us search" John moaned at them.

"What are we searching for?" asked Molly. She looked cute with pigtails and a red dress with lady birds all over it.

Sherlock actually giggled. "It's a little statue with a big willy" he said.

"I got one of those" Molly exclaimed, but before she could continue Sherlock shouted "no you haven't." 

"Yes I have" said Molly looking pleased with herself "it's in the rubbish."

"Where's the rubbish?" John asked.

"It's under my sink" said Molly "I put it there until there's a lot and then I put it outside in the big bin."

"I'm not looking through rubbish" said Anderson "I'll get dirty."

Lestrade looked in the cupboard under the sink and removed the waste bin in there. He looked inside and sure enough there was no figure in there. "Oh fuck" he shouted "we'll have to search somewhere else now."

"I like searching" said Sherlock "it's fun."

"Good" said Lestrade "we'll all go over to my place and search there."

The figure couldn't be found however. They all went in Lestrade's car to various places and couldn't find anything anywhere. It was very disheartening so they went to McDonalds to cheer themselves up where they all had the fun of seeing Sherlock, the most fussy eater in the known Universe, eat an Ice Age 4 Happy Meal along with Molly.

Lestrade drove them all back to Molly's place, collected the things needed for Donovan and then drove them to 221B Baker Street. This didn't please John a bit, but Sherlock was delighted and he and Molly were soon lying on the living room floor together drawing. Lestrade was disgusted.

"Look at that" he moaned to John "you'd think they didn't have a care in the World. I want to go back to being an adult. I've had my youth. It was OK but I don't want it again, thank you very much."

"I can't think of anything else to do" John admitted "if we can't find at least one of those figures we're stuck."

"I can get a lot of my people searching" said Lestrade "maybe one of them will find something. I'll make a few phone calls. Make some tea, John, would you, and give the little ones some milk."

Naturally, Sherlock heard this remark. "I don't want milk" he shouted "I want a cup of tea with two sugars."

"So do I" shouted Molly "but I don't want any sugar."

"Oh give the little brats some tea then" moaned Lestrade "see if I care."

"I know what caused this anyway" said Sherlock, getting up off the floor and coming over to Lestrade, looking smug. 

"What was it then?" asked Lestrade with a sigh.

"Someone made a wish and it came true for everyone instead of only them" said Sherlock "we just have to find who it was to fix it."

"Oh" said Lestrade, his voice heavy with sarcasm "that's going to be so easy to do, isn't it? That's assuming you're right, of course".

"I'm always right" said Sherlock.

Lestrade groaned. "We still need to find one of the figures though, don't we" he said.

"We'll have to wait until tomorrow now" said John "I've had enough searching for one day."

The remainder of the day passed very slowly. Donovan had to to be fed and bathed and changed and put to bed in one of John's drawers, (once they had removed a pile of socks and underpants from it) and everyone else had to find somewhere to sleep.

Lestrade slept on the sofa and Anderson and John shared John's bed, Anderson moaned constantly and then kept John awake by snoring all night. Molly and Sherlock bedded down in Sherlock's bed and had a wonderful time playing hide and seek in the duvet, rolling on each other and having pillow fights. Lestrade grew more and more irritated with them. He was awake for hours, or at least it seemed like hours, listening to them shouting and laughing.

The next morning Lestrade awoke first and had a quick shower before everyone else got up. After that he had to see to Donovan, who was screaming loudly. By then he was already tired and cross. Anderson insisted on washing from head to foot at the kitchen sink, because John was in the bathroom taking a shower, which was seriously maddening, and after that Lestrade felt obliged to feed them all.

They were sitting at the kitchen table eating toast and strawberry jam when Sherlock and Molly came running into the room, still in their night clothes. They were playing chase. 

"Stop that and sit down" Lestrade shouted at them.

"I found the statue" Sherlock yelled as he and Molly disappeared into the living room.

"I found it too" Molly told them "it's rude".

"Where is it?" asked Lestrade.

"I put it in the bath" said Sherlock, as he and Molly both ran back into the kitchen.

"It was dirty" said Molly.

"Filthy" said Sherlock, and they both giggled.

"No one has a willy that big" said Molly.

"Mine used to be much bigger" said Sherlock.

"Not that big" said Molly, and they both giggled some more.

Lestrade tried hard to ignore the implications of that remark and went into the bathroom and, sure enough, the statue was in the bath. Lestrade held it firmly and wished that everyone was back to normal. Nothing happened. He tried wishing in several different ways but it was useless. He took the figure into the kitchen and made everyone else wish. It was a waste of time. 

"Sally and I were watching a film were a man woke up thirty years in the past" said Anderson, as they sat in the living room, morosely glaring at the statue as it stood on the coffee table "and Sally said if she went back thirty years she'd be a baby".

"Why didn't you say that earlier?" demanded Lestrade angrily.

"I was busy" shouted Anderson.

"Busy!" screamed Lestrade "busy with what?"

"I woke up and Sally was a baby" said Anderson looking as if he were about to start crying "I was upset and she kept crying."

"All we have to do now then" said John, trying to stay calm with difficulty "is get Donovan to wish we were all thirty years older."

"How are we going to do that?" Lestrade almost sobbed "she can't talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Donovan be able to make a wish? Stay tuned for more.


	4. "We did it" he exclaimed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lestrade has some success at work. Sherlock and Molly have some fun times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had twins in December and have just started to write again. It's hard to fit it in with the kids so apologies for the delay in carrying on with this.

"We have to all have a serious think about this" said John. 

"We have to teach Sally to talk" said Anderson.

"That could take years" moaned Lestrade.

"I got an answer" said Sherlock, flopping onto the floor and proceeding to roll about making growling noises.

"What ARE you doing?" asked John.

Molly joined Sherlock on the floor. She started to growl as well. "We're being dogs" she explained "I'm a Poodle." To prove this fact she started to bark. Sherlock growled louder and jumped on her. They grappled ineffectually.

"Recordings" said Sherlock, after a few moments of growling, grunting and barking, "Lestrade can get them. There's probably lots of them. You just have to get an expert to go through them and pick out the right words." He separated himself from Molly and stood up. "Am I brilliant or what?" he said. He then got onto his hands and knees on the floor and chased Molly into the Kitchen. They were both barking loudly.

"That could take almost as long as teaching her to talk" Lestrade complained "but I suppose it's the only option we've got. I'll go and see what I can arrange. You're in charge John, while I'm gone."

"Why is HE in charge?" shouted Anderson, as Lestrade went to the door ready to leave.

"Because he's got the most sense" said Lestrade.

"That's not fair" moaned Anderson.

"Good" snapped Lestrade.

John found himself alone with two toddlers pretending to be dogs, a crying baby and a sulking Anderson. He wasn't happy. He glared at Sherlock and Molly. "You two need to wash and get dressed," he told them.

"Oh good" said Sherlock, producing a wide and unexpected smile "we can play Pirates in the bath."

John had to go and fill the bath and make sure both Sherlock and Molly got in without any difficulties. Sherlock insisted he didn't need any help, but, nevertheless, let John lift him into the water. He watched them splashing each other for a few moments. It made him feel extremely weird. The great Sherlock Holmes was naked in a bath pretending to be a Pirate with Molly. Finally, he went to see if he could stop Donovan crying. Anderson was watching the Television, which was no help at all. He solved the problem of Donovan's wailing by giving her a slice of bread covered in a thick layer of butter. She happily sucked at the butter and chewed bits of bread and spat them onto the floor and seemed to be very happy. It made a lot of mess on both her and the floor though. 

John went back into the bathroom to discover Sherlock out of the bath and demonstrating his ability to urinate up the bathroom wall. He didn't even look guilty when John caught him in the act. John lifted Molly out of the bath and gave her a towel. Then, due to her almost total lack of coordination, he had to dry her. Sherlock proved to be almost as useless at drying himself as Molly was so John had to help dry him too.

Some time later he gave them an egg and toasted fingers which proved to be a mistake as he forgot to cover them with towels to protect their clothing. As a result they got egg on their clothes and on the table and on the floor and Anderson kept moaning that he hadn't had an egg or fingers and it wasn't fair. As if this wasn't maddening enough he then found Donovan covered in melting butter. He cleaned up Donovan and changed her nappy, an experience too horrific to think about, and then retreated upstairs to his room to escape.

Meanwhile, Anderson amused Donovan by bouncing her on his knees and singing to her, while Sherlock and Molly went downstairs to see Mrs Hudson. She wasn't in as she had gone out shopping with Mrs Turner, so they went back upstairs again and found John lying down in his bedroom and jumped on him.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Donovan went to sleep on the kitchen floor and had to be put back in her drawer. Anderson watched TV and moaned a lot. John dusted the flat and Molly and Sherlock drew weird things on the back {and some of the fronts too} of some of Sherlock's notes on various experiments he was working on. John opened two tins of Tomato soup for lunch and spent the afternoon clearing up the mess this made.

At last, just after 5pm, Lestrade arrived back. He looked surprisingly cheerful. He stood in the center of the living room and waved a CD at them. 

"We did it!" he exclaimed "it took all day but we did it."

"What did you do?" asked Anderson. He was sitting on the floor waving a duster at Donovan, who was looking at him as if he were slightly insane.

"Made the recording" Lestrade sighed "of Sally wishing she was thirty years older. We just have to play it and wait to see what happens."

"It happened overnight before" said John "so we won't know if it's worked until tomorrow morning."

Anderson groaned. "Another night like last night'll kill me" he said.

"Good" said Sherlock "we can have a funeral. I'd like a funeral."

"I hate you" snapped Anderson "I think you're horrible."

"I hate you more" said Sherlock "and your feet smell."

"Your feet smell worse" said Anderson.

"Shut up" shouted Lestrade "and let's play this damn thing before I go completely crazy."

The recording sounded a bit strange, but they played it once and then, just as Lestrade was about to play it again to make sure it had the effect intended, John gave a cry of anguish and stopped him. "If it works it might make us all sixty years older" he shouted.

Lestrade groaned. "I should have thought of that" he said "I don't think I could stand being seventy six."

After that John and Lestrade made dinner of fish fingers and chips. Sherlock pushed chips up his nose so Molly copied him. Donovan ate bits of chopped up fish fingers and Anderson ate his covered in a thick layer of tomato ketchup which Sherlock helpfully said made them look bloody. Anderson threw chips at Sherlock so Sherlock and Molly threw chips back at him and Lestrade lost his temper and screamed at them.

This took so long that Lestrade said they should all go to bed and that would make the morning come quicker. Sherlock said the morning would come at the usual time. Donovan was changed and put back in her drawer. John and Anderson retreated to John's room and Lestrade lay down on the sofa in the living room.

Molly and Sherlock went to Sherlock's room and had a fun time pretending they were on a raft in the pacific with no food except Anderson, who, Sherlock explained, had conveniently died on the first day they were stuck on the raft. They mimed eating bits of Anderson and Molly said humans tasted like pork, which she liked more than lamb or beef or chicken. Sherlock didn't ask her how she knew. 

Eventually everyone got to sleep. The hours ticked by and morning came.


	5. "It's all been like a dream anyway" said Mrs Hudson "hasn't it?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything changes yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for long delay with this. I had twins last December making a grand total of 10 and have simply been too tired.

It was around 6am that John was awakened by a commotion going on in the street outside. He sat up in bed and immediately noticed that he was large again. That was fine, wonderful in fact. Less fine was the fact that he was almost naked and in bed with Anderson. He got out of bed and found that Donovan had gone. The remains of her drawer were strewn about the floor. He found some clothes to wear and went to the bathroom.

After he was washed and dressed he looked out the nearest window and saw a mass of people, all arguing and fighting and shouting. There seemed to be a major traffic jam too. He watched for a while until some Police arrived to attempt to regain order. He then went down to the kitchen to get something to eat.

He found Lestrade and Donovan eating toast and marmalade. Donovan was wearing a sheet. There was no sign of Sherlock or Molly. John made some more toast while Lestrade and Donovan moaned at him.

"I had splinters all over from that drawer" Donovan complained.

"I had to remove some of them" said Lestrade "I can think of things I'd rather do."

"I couldn't reach them all" Donovan shouted "I was inside a drawer and then I grew out of it. I woke up as I was stretching. It was a nightmare. I was a baby. It was dreadful."

John sat down and spread a thick layer of butter over his toast. "I awoke in rags with Anderson beside me" he said "how would you like that then?"

At that moment Sherlock, fully dressed in his normal clothing, arrived in the kitchen . 

"Do you want some toast?" John asked him.

"I'm going out" said Sherlock, scowling.

"There's a riot outside" said Lestrade, suddenly looking quite cheerful.

"You'd think they'd be pleased to be back to normal" said John, taking a large bite out of his toast.

"Maybe they were in a drawer when they changed" snapped Donovan.

"They probably changed when they were at work" said Lestrade "some people start work early or work all night like taxi drivers and Police. To suddenly find yourself getting bigger when you're driving or something had to be frightening and dangerous." 

"I woke up naked in bed with Molly Hooper" said Sherlock, as he put on his coat and scarf. He sighed and added "she has sweaty feet."

John and Lestrade laughed. "It's not funny" said Sherlock "waking up in bed with her wasn't funny." At that unfortunate moment the her in question arrived in the kitchen dressed fetchingly in one of Sherlock's shirts.

"Sherlock snores" Molly announced as she sat down at the kitchen table and grabbed a piece of John's toast.

"I do not snore" said Sherlock loftily.

"Not when you were little but as soon as you got big----" Molly muttered.

Sherlock made a huffing noise and left in a swirl of coat and scarf.

"John" said Lestrade "you look normal. You can go and get everyone some clothes that fit. We should have left them here. Why didn't we?"

"Stupidity" said Donovan.

"Suddenly being thirty years younger can do that to a person" said John.

Before anyone could say anything else a voice from the doorway announced "I'm starving and John's things don't fit." There stood Anderson wearing a pair of John's jeans and a yellow and black jumper. He looked terrible.

"John's going to get us some decent clothes" said Lestrade "have some breakfast."

Anderson was half way though a plate of cereal when Sherlock, looking hot and disheveled, arrived back in the kitchen.

"It's insanity out there" he announced "evidently some people changed when they were out and there was some unexpected nudity."

"I like the idea of unexpected nudity" said John "except when it's Anderson of course."

"I look fine nude" said Anderson.

"Hardly anyone looks fine nude" said Sherlock "and I'm sure you don't."

"Maybe you don't but I do" snapped Anderson.

"Shut up" said Lestrade "you're all adults now so try and behave like it. Go and get those clothes John before there's a riot in here."

John went to get his coat just as Mrs Hudson arrived looking somewhat sad. "I liked being younger" she told them "it was lovely."

"You're still lovely" said Molly "you're just a really lovely person."

"Thank you dear" said Mrs Hudson "I just came up to make sure you were all OK. I'm going to go and get one of my herbal soothers now."

Mrs Hudson and John went downstairs together. "I hope life hasn't any more strange changes in store for us" Mrs Hudson sighed as she turned to go into her flat "I'm too old for all this excitement. Oh and before you go. Have you heard the news? They're going to collect up all those little statues and bury them somewhere. All that they can find anyway."

"Good" said John "I hope they bury them somewhere no-one can find them again."

"It's all been like a dream anyway" said Mrs Hudson "hasn't it?"

Upstairs everyone was still arguing and complaining and out in the street the Police were dispersing the crowds. Things were returning to normal.

"Yes" said John "a dream."

The End.


End file.
